Looking into his glassy eyes, tears running down his face, I felt nothing. Not anger or spite, love or kindness, just a void where emotions should go. It was like watching someone fall asleep except he wasn’t. His heart was stopping while mine kept running. Sebastian laid at my feet bloody and broken trying to find air that would never reach his lungs. When he took his last breath, I grabbed the wooden handle, stained with life that once was, and yanked the steel axe from his chest. Fig and Mika stood by in the misty shadows of the trees as they watched the gruesome event unfold. I could only imagine their terrified faces as I took the life that once was.
Silence fell, night was settling in. It was like the darkness was trying to drown us, instead of water pulling you under and filling you up so you can’t breathe, can’t get away. I think I would have rather drowned. The animals even seem to think so. There wasn’t a chirp or howl for miles. I used to like the fact that animals could sense the dangers of the world but now the thought of me being that danger, terrified me. Minutes went by and no one moved. The shock and numbness we all felt seemed to have rooted us to the ground like the rest of the pine trees in the forest. I could have stood there for hours but Mika decided to make the first move.
Hesitantly, He stepped out into the small opening where the fighting had ensued. If the moon had been out, it would have been the perfect spot to bathe in the moonlight and watch the stars but not tonight. No, it was dark and dreary as if it knew this would happen. Mika stepped up and stood beside me. I could feel his gaze bore into me but I didn’t dare look in fear of the sad, disappointed look I was probably getting. “Val?” He attempted to get my attention but I still didn’t want to look. After a few tries of saying my name, he gave up. I felt his hand wrap around mine but it wasn’t for comfort. He loosened my fingers from the death grip on the axe and let it fall to the ground with a thump as the grass softened it’s fall.
Fig,not far behind Mika, walked up and knelt over Sebastian’s still body. When she looked up at me, I could see trails where streams of tears fell down her small pale face. Looking at Fig made me angry. Has she not been through enough? Have we not been through enough? Yanking my hand away from Mika’s, I stepped over Sebastian and made my way over to the tall pine at the edge of the opening. At the bottom of the tree where the grass was scarce and the dirt was still damp from the rain the night before, I fell to the forest floor. On hands and knees, I tore at the ground not caring about the dirt underneath my fingernails or the bugs crawling up out of the ground to safety. All that mattered was the hole in the ground. After minutes of digging, I felt a sensation like I was being watched. What confirmed my suspicion was Figs small, confused voice, “What are you doing?” Her voice faltered and cracked, scared almost. Scared of me.